Lord of the Lasagna
by Stupidfic
Summary: CHEW ON THIS!


-1_A long time ago, there was a great and evil sorcerer. The sorcerer used his dark powers to conquer many lands. Oddly though, as much as he loved world domination, cooking was his all-time favorite thing. People considered him to be an excellent chef. Of course, when the people ate his food they became zombie slaves._

_But the sorcerer wasn't satisfied with his great skills in wizardry and baking. So he decided to cook something powerful… the one meal to rule them all. Fried in the depths of Mount Doom, the sorcerer created the magical lasagna! Not was this demonic dinner everlasting, it gave the sorcerer power that only a demigod could possess, allowing his plans for total control over Earth a reality._

_Of course, people rebelled. Tired of being enslaved and hungry, the people who had been charged into the sorcerer's lair. The extremely powerful sorcerer attempted to retaliate, but overeating his lasagna caused him to become fat and unable to cast magic. He was slain and nobody had to fear his reign of terror._

_But he was not completely vanquished. The sorcerer's spirit resided inside the magic lasagna, unable to escape. The lasagna vanished from history and was never heard from again._

_**UNTIL NOW!**_

-

"Garfield! Odie! I'm back from the grocery store!" Jon Arbuckle shouted with bags of food in his arms.

It didn't take long for his luggage to be snatched away by his really fat cat. In a matter of seconds the bags were ripped open and their contents spilled out. Before the food was devoured, the cat's owner quickly stepped in.

"Oh no you don't!" said Jon "I am not going shopping again! Here, I got this lasagna for you."

The human gave the cat a package of lasagna. It looked extremely old and had mold everywhere.

Garfield looked up and said telepathically "you expect me to eat this?"

"You told me you would eat lasagna even if it came out of my butt."

"Good point" thought Garfield. He dug his claws into the unappealing cuisine and took a bite. It was surprisingly delicious! While he was savoring the taste, a vision of a flaming eyeball briefly appear.

He stared out in confusion and later shrugged. "Must be hallucinating from the 'shrooms."

Mr. Arbuckle gagged as he saw his cat continue eating the lasagna. He didn't expect Garfield to enjoy it this much! Only Jon knew where that thing came from; inside an abandoned castle with cockroaches and mouse dropping everywhere. Oh well, free food is free food.

Along came Odie, sniffing at the peculiar stench coming from the lasagna. Discovering the origin of the smell, the dog went to get a closer look. He backed away when Garfield nearly clawed the pup's eyes out.

"GET YOUR OWN DAMN FOOD!" thought Garfield in fury.

Jon was shocked at this sight. "Garfield! You're never this defensive over a meal!"

"SHUT UP NERD! THIS LASAGNA IS MINE! ALL MIIIIIIIIIIIINE!"

The crazed feline started frantically eating. Before Jon could talk back, the doorbell rang. He decided to see who it was and saw some zombies shrouded in black cloaks.

One of the zombies cleared his throat and spoke "hey dude. Like, do you have bogusly ancient lasagna that make people all funky and stuff?"

"Uh, yeah?" answered Jon.

"Cool." The zombies grabbed Jon and Odie then dragged them out of the house.

Mr. Arbuckle stuttered "what's going on? Where are you taking us?"

Another zombie replied "we are, like, taking you to Mount Doom. We have to revive our almighty master by doing painful things to you, such as pouring lava down your pants. It's a bummer, I know dude."

"What!? Garfield! Help me and Odie! Garfield! GARFIELD!!!!"

The zombies continued dragging the panicking human and dog away. Back at the Arbuckle residence, Garfield continued eating his magical lasagna, which never depleted as it was everlasting. The effects of eating the mystical meal caused Garfield to turn invisible, which made the undead unable to notice him. And the fat cat kept eating, now with no one to bother him.

With his taste buds tinkling with flavor and the unlimited lasagna going down his bottomless stomach, the only thing on Garfield's mind was "my preciousssssss."

THE END!

…WHAT? YOU WERE EXPECTING AN EPIC ADVENTURE WITH LOTS OF FIGHTING? YEAH, LIKE GARFIELD EVER DOES THAT!


End file.
